is on my mind.
(I don't know those people--but I like their picture!)
Yeah, got Z's pre-invitation thing today. Very excited for her. She deserves someone amazing :)
I think I'm both content with and frustrated with my singleness. I GET to live a life of adventure, pursuing MY dreams, MY wishes, without having to consult someone else. THAT in itself is cause for rejoicing. And I love that, I love the freedom I have to do what I want, spend my money how I want, go where I want, work when I want, sleep when I want. It's just those times... Like when I'm with my multitude of married friends--they don't understand me fully. Sorry guys, but you don't. Or with friends who start dating/get engaged--I'm very happy for them, I AM. It just makes me question more. And if I'm not allowed to question God, to ask Him anything I want... then what's the point of being a believer??
So, please... if all you have is a trite, pre-packaged comment, please don't even bother. Do not tell me my Maker is my husband as Isaiah 54 says--that's all well and good, but my Maker can't hug me or kiss me. Do not tell me to be patient, because, most likely, I've waited longer than you. And please, do not tell me to simply be happy where I am because in this moment, I am happier than I have been in a long time.
4 comments:
Em-
Forgive me if this is the trite kind of comment that you spoke about. But I would like to share with you a struggle that I have.
For months, I have been reading e-mails from three very specific friends of mine. And though I am encouraged by them, I was also getting VERY disheartened. I was envious of the way they got to go wherever God led them, and the way he was answering their prayers and speaking to them daily. They all hear from God in a day, more than I feel I do in a month. And they share that, and in mose cases, act on whatever it is that God is telling them to do. I shared with Tammi . . . "I wish I had that."
And then, one day I was talking to a co-worker and she brought something to mind that I hadn't thought of. All of these friends that I am envying their walk with God are single. It is a real-life example of what Paul talks about in the Bible. Because they are single, they are able to have a singlemindedness and focus on God the Father that I am not able to have because I have a husband.
You are right, I can not understand how you feel. It's been a while since I've been single. But I just wanted to shed some light from the other side that shows each way of life has it's own benefits and struggles.
((((Emily))))
Praying for you.
Matt - thanks, very very much. I'm nowhere near as bitter as my diatribe sounded. But it was real.
Mandy... I was VERY much ready to tell you that what you typed was NOT what I wanted to hear. But... that's not so. Thanks for having the guts to comment on this one. It's good to have that reminder. Because I AM able to use this time to develop such a deep devotion to my Lord. I'm doing that... I just never really recognized it. So many things are happening at THIS VERY MOMENT in the heavenlies that I have to be listening, straining to hear... *I* must be so in tune with God that when He says "GO" I'm instantly on my feet moving. He's developing that in me right now... if someone else were in my life... well, my focus wouldn't be so... focused. :)
Thanks for the encouragement. The light shed on my own struggles was a gentle and good one.
yeah...maybe i'll find us some cute brothers.
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