A Life Well-Lived

Sometimes my heart feels like it's going to explode.

Often, I will spend a day stuck in the rut of everyday life... wake up. Shower.
Feed the cats. Drive to work and not yell at horrible drivers.
Interpret phone calls. Run errands. Go home. Eat dinner. Clean.
Do some church work. Read bible. Go to bed. 

If I'm not careful, these days run together. A blur of a life not well-lived. Simply existing. 

And then... 

I'm given an opportunity that makes me feel sick with nerves, like a speech contest. 

I am reminded of the beauty of a soul fighting for life against cancer. 

I see the sparkle of the city I call home and love so very much. 

I am able to work on the logistics of a database or a budget and feel capable and like I'm making a contribution. 

I connect with people I know and make them friends.

I get the opportunity to hug people at Sought Church, to share what Jesus is doing, or just to smile and welcome a new person. 

These things happen and I know that God has a use for a life filled with action and love and well-lived. More than simply existing. Truly LIVING and sharing that with others. 

And when that happens, my heart feels like it's going to explode.

It's such a good thing.

The Memories...

Last week, one of my friends was diagnosed with Leukemia.

Cancer.

I found out by reading a post by her husband on Facebook.  It almost felt like a prank--a cruel, horrible prank.  "Haha, everyone, we don't have cancer - gotcha!"  As I read the words, though, I felt memories flooding back... From the night my sister called me to tell me she had cancer, almost 4 years ago to the day.  It felt surreal then.  It STILL feels surreal sometimes.

As I've prayed for my friend and her family, those memories keep coming back... I've tried to think of what my sister needed from her friends--what WE needed, as well--and figure out practical ways to provide those things for her, for them.

Here are some things I remember....

1) AVOID CLICHE'S
Oh my word.  I heard the phrase "God won't give you more than you can handle" more times than I can count.  The HORRIBLE thing about this statement is that it's NOT TRUE!!!!  NOWHERE in Scripture does it say this.  And knowing that God doesn't say it made it far more OK for me to run to Papa God and crumble in His arms.  HE handles it, not me.  (See my rant on this here.)

2) KEEP COMMUNICATING
 I remember how my sister would read blog comments from her phone in the hospital bed.  She LOVED hearing from her friends and family... even people she didn't know--OUR friends who still cared about her.  She drew so much strength from them, and because of that, so did we!  Those who routinely commented were such a blessing!

3) BE SPECIFIC WHEN YOU OFFER SOMETHING
I actually remember this from when my grandfather passed away while I was still in MN.  I had a friend who's mother had just passed away a year before who was with me when I got the news.  I was a mess.  She stood with me and said, "This is how I'm going to help you.  I can bring you to your teachers and we can talk to them and get assignments, etc."  She was so practical.  She learned that from HER experiences... those who said, "If there's any way I can help, let me know," didn't end up being too helpful.  Their hearts were ABSOLUTELY in the right place, but when you're experiencing something tragic or traumatic, it's hard to "assign" someone something to do.  That's why I try to avoid this statement - because I felt it when we experienced Serry's cancer.  I had some friends who were VERY specific in what they could do to support me.  My small group, for instance, changed - we became something that was less of a stress on me, and more a group teaching/discussion.  They were very practical and such a support.  If there's something you can do for someone, do it - or at least offer to.  If you can watch the kids, offer to watch the kids.  If you want to give some money to the family, give some money.  In the case of my friend, if you want to shave your head to show solidarity - shave that head! (Several people, men and women, in our church have done this!)

4)  LOVE AND PRAY
Seriously.  We know that prayer is a powerful weapon.  Why don't we use it?  This weekend, we prayed in church.  Some of the kids in children's church prayed.  We prayed at a party we went to.  We've been praying alone and with others.  God ALREADY has the title of Healer--it's not like we're asking Him to step out of His identity.  He has established Himself as a Healer WAY before you and I got here!



There's more that's rumbling around, but... this is what's on my heart.  So, now that you've read this, will you pray for my friend, S, and her husband, A, and their daughter, L?  They would really appreciate it.  In the meantime, here's my small showing of solidarity for my friend... orange for Leukemia:

RELAY IS TOMORROW!!!

Relay for Life - Friday 6pm to Saturday 6pm
The Brainiacs (and our new friends Warrington-Stewart!) are going to ROCK THE HOUSE!!!
Serry will be celebrating ONE YEAR OF REMISSION!
It's going to be FANTASTIC! Come on out!!!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/emilyhill

Black Hills High School - you know you want to be there!!!!

June is bustin' out all over!!!

June shocks me... for several reasons!
1 - You realize that this is the 6th month of 2010... yeah, we're almost HALFWAY through this year! Wasn't it JUST Christmas???
2 - My birthday is this month. That's just weird.
3 - Relay for Life - EEEK! I'm TOTALLY behind on fundraising and EVERYTHING this year. We're nowhere near goal. If you want to help me out... http://main.acsevents.org/goto/emilyhill
4 - All my teacher friends are bragging about how many wake ups they have. Yeah... you get three months off, don't complain about the pay. ;) (you know I love you... but seriously? the rest of us still have to get up each day.)

5 - this is the BEST one of all. My sister Serry will be celebrating ONE YEAR OF REMISSION this month!!! WOO HOO! :)

Relay's a-Coming!

Hey - go donate to the Brainiacs and our Relay for Life team... Let's END CANCER!!!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/emilyhill

"Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long."

It's interesting. Psalm 119 talks often about loving God's word - living it, breathing it, meditating on it. It often seemed to me that because I knew where things were in Scripture (or could find it really quickly), and that I read my Bible more than other people did, I must be meditating on the Word... at least more than other people do!

The past few weeks have really shown me that fallacy. Today will mark day 711 that I have read my Bible. What started as a one-month commitment to God has gotten me through the absolute best times in my life... and the absolute worst. Without my daily commitment early last year, I wouldn't have leaned so heavily on God during my sister's journey with brain cancer. I wouldn't have rejoiced as freely when her MRI's returned clear and we all learned how to LIVE again--changed, but hopeful.

One of the best parts about being a believer in Christ, though, is that He is always calling you higher and closer. When we master one area of our lives and put it in complete submission, He shows us another, and another. Lest we become apathetic, our Savior continues to say "Follow me. Love like me. LIVE like me."

In my life, that means an upgrade for my 711 days of reading. It was my involvement at church that brought this on... first with our 40-Days emphasis and my prayer of wanting to go deeper into what was already an everyday task for me; second with a sermon that, though I don't remember the specifics, resonated with me. On the evening of November 28th, I stood at the altar, presenting my heart to God, repeating the words, "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone" (Col. 4:6). God was working in me, reminding me that if HE abides in me, I must let HIM come out of me in conversation and specific situations that I face daily.

I went home that night and wrote that verse down, journaling a bit about it. The next day, as my mind began to wander to areas that caused me pain and sadness, I heard the words, "take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). The day after? "Do everything without complaining, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God" (Phil. 2:14).

Day by day, Scriptures would present themselves to me... though God speaking to me, reading my Bible at night, a Pastor's comment during church. Day by day, I have been meditating on His law... hearing His word repeated over and over... I see it during the day--in the middle of stressful situations, I've opened myself up to hear His voice, and learn His lessons of love.

Before you shake your finger at me, I fail at following His word daily. I DO hear it and turn the other way. Even after 2 years of reading every day, there are still nights when I just want to turn the light off and go to sleep, days when I want to say "Screw it all!" and have it out with someone right there. The intriguing part of it though... is that His Spirit, His voice...? It gets louder every day.

It's hard to ignore Someone who loves me this much.

Relay for Life

I just typed the world's longest post about Relay on my sister's blog... and I can't redo it here. :) Please, please take a look there!!! :)

http://serrylee.blogspot.com/2009/07/relay-for-life.html

Want to support our Relay for Life team?

Our Relay for Life team, The Brainiacs, are doing two online/catalog sales to help raise money to END cancer.

15% of all sales raised from these two parties will go directly to The American Cancer Society's Relay for Life.

Please - "come" to the party, order something, invite all your friends. We're about saving lives here. This is pretty fast turnaround time, though - I'm trying to close by Thursday evening!!

*****************************************
ENTERTAINING AT HOME
(Formerly Taste of Home Entertaining)
EAH is like Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma -- at Target prices!!!
Check out a catalog here: https://emilyhill.eahweb.com/Catalog/Spring2009/
If you're in the Thurston County area, let me know if you want a real catalog - I'll get it to you!

If you like deals, check out the Sale-a-Bration! http://www.entertainingathome.com/commonAssets/docs/2009/MonthlySpecials/June09Sale.pdf

For June customer specials, see: http://secure.entertainingathome.com/privateAssetsCBC/docs/2009/Monthly%20Specials/Jun09Specials.pdf Don't you LOVE the mini dip sets?!?

To order, call or email Emily with the info. I'll either get your credit/debit card information or a check from you. I'll also give you shipping rates and tax (8.5%).

______________________________
SCENTSY
It's like a candle, but better! No flame means no fire!
Head to this website: www.scentsy.com/KellyDawn
Click My Events on the bottom right
Find The Brainiacs event on the calendar - click it and choose Shop for Event!
Check out the different warmers and scents... MMMMM! :)
****************************************

THANK YOU! Please ask ANY questions - and invite all your friends!!!!



If you would like to donate directly to our team, please visit our team website at: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/brainiacs

Serry

Guess what? Serry's officially in REMISSION. I am SO excited.

See her blog here: www.serrylee.blogspot.com

Please go donate to Relay for Life, too. The goal of The American Cancer Society (who does Relay for Life) is to ERADICATE CANCER. Will you help END it? http://main.acsevents.org/goto/emilyshill

Been Awhile...

So I used to post all the time... I haven't for awhile - sorry about that. I'm probably down to zero readers, but that's OK. At least *I* read my own stuff. ;)

We just had a walk-through at church tonight... very fun. We're in the middle of a building project right now... TONS of new space, mostly for kids. It's amazing. we got to write all over the floors and walls... lots of scripture. :)

Yesterday Jann and I got together and had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory - I love it there! Tonight a group of us went out to Applebee's after church. Tons of fun all around. :)

I'm not really sure what to blog about any more... So... pardon me as I try to get back into this. Oh, please give to our Relay for Life team, the Brainiacs. :) Supporting Serry as best as I can. Here's my web page: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/emilyshill Please give.

Cliche's don't cut it

Hi everyone... Look at me, actually blogging. :)

I'm working on some Christmas stuff right now, so I get to multi-task... kinda. ;) I just thought I'd update you on some thoughts that have been running through my mind over the past few months. I do have a disclaimer, though. Please, if you feel offended... turn that off. ;) If you live your life by these words, I have no desire to weaken your faith or belief. If you are afraid of that happening, please turn away now. Also, I may be wrong. I fully admit that. I just need to work things out.

As you know, my sister has been fighting brain cancer. To see more, visit her blog: www.serrylee.blogspot.com. As a result, I have been confronted with more Christian cliche's than I could EVER imagine I would hear. Ready?

God will not give you more than you can handle.
BULL. This is rooted in the verse 1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

I have not done a word study on the word "TEMPTED" - I probably should have. However, all of the versions that I saw used the word tempted--not afflicted, not beat up, not drowned by sorrows... TEMPTED. To me that means just what it says--tempted. Not "when you have a lot of crappy things going on in your life." Regardless... even if it DOES mean something like "afflicted," it says that God will provide a way out... which to me means that it's got to be pretty bad to get there. Philipians says, "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength." ALL THINGS. All things seems pretty all-encompasing to me.

OK, now that I have the rant out... This verse is not a comfort to those who are suffering. That is one thing I have learned through this. It comes in a section of Scripture full of warnings... and I just can't get over the fact that it seems to only talk about "temptation." I will do some study on that and get back to you. In the mean time... please do NOT tell me that God won't give me more than I can handle... If I could handle it, I wouldn't be broken.

Just pray, that's all you have to do
Just pray. When you are hurting so much that you can't communicate normally, it is increasingly difficult to PRAY in the sense that these well-wishers mean. People have commented to me that as long as I'm constantly talking to God, I'll be fine. When I stop talking, then I've got a problem. I beg to differ. Check out Romans 8:26-27:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Now THIS verse is a comfort. From the beginning of this ordeal, aside from the words, "Heal my sister, heal my sister," I haven't been as able to pray as other people would "like" me to. But I continuously lift my heart to my Savior and ask Him to understand the plea for help that is screaming from the depths of my being. THIS verse gives me hope that I'm doing it "right." I don't have those words to say, all I have is a wordless, often soundless cry out to God. And... He hears my unspoken prayer. For that I am thankful.


OK, there's a bunch more. But I've said enough. I guess I posted this on here because... I just want to make people aware. When someone is hurting, please don't offer them a tired phrase. Hold them. Love them. Pray with them. Cry with them. Listen to them. Acknowledge their feelings, because not many people do. Don't tell them how to "feel better" or "get over it." Just BE THERE for them when they need you.

I miss blogging...

... but all my time is spent blogging for my sister. She's in the hospital right now... but I think that's a good thing. Read today's blog if you're interested.

So... what's new with Emily? Ummm... a lot.

Jenni came out. That was cool. Seriously. (Sorry, Britt.) We had a TON of fun... even if (especially if?) it was a pretty mellow weekend. Got to see Kristy, so that was extra fun, too. We saw the funniest play ever... The Drowsy Chaperone. I loved it so much that I encouraged a co-worker to bring her daughter to it... and even today we randomly exclaimed, "WHAAAAT??" and then busted up laughing. :) VERY funny. Highly recommend it. :)

Ummm....

I'm reading Romans right now. With small group. But we're almost done with that. Don't know what's next.

Oh, my garage flooded. Twice. That pretty much sucked, but the city and my homeowner's association are making it right now. They're replacing the drywall, installing better locks on doors (not really related to the flooding, but a result of it, so I'm OK with that!), and I may be able to get my carpet replaced. I broke down the first time it happened... I just couldn't handle it. But.... we are like trees in the wind... it made me stronger for the next blow, I guess. I DID get my garage cleaned, though... so that's good. I have shelves up now, and much of my stuff is on them. I've bought storage bins (and plan to be buying more) and am excited to use more and more of them... (two are red and green for Christmas decorations... I have lights and stuff in boxes and I'd like to get everything possible in bins. Water pouring into my garage taught me some things. :-/ lol

OK, I'm going to head to bed now. To read Romans... and then to read the book about the guy who followed the Bible literally for a year... it's really funny. :)

Good night.