The Surface of the Sun

When I was preparing to move to Las Vegas from Washington State, I kept telling people I was moving to the surface of the sun. It’s hot here. Everyone knows it. I mean, we’re in a desert. A desert filled with CONCRETE, which means it never has a chance of cooling down at night. Mid-summer, when it’s over 110 for a week in a row, the “cool” for the night is 95.

That’s hot.

But it’s part of living in Vegas. And it’s not really THAT BAD. (Don't laugh at me!) Yes, it’s hot. But once you’ve lived through several days at 115 degrees, 104 starts to feel good!

That is… it feels good in June.

And July.

And even August.

But September…

September starts teasing you. The weather reports say things like, "This is our last day of three-digit temperatures!" 4 days later, it's 101. Then the humidity starts to climb. We like 2% humidity here, and it may be 49% on any given day!

People start getting crabby. We stare at the sky and wonder why it's so hot. We yell at meteorologists.

And we start commiserating together.

That's the funny part of it. We've all suffered through the insufferable together, and now we have this bond that brings us all together. It doesn't matter your age, background, beliefs--We are ONE and we shall RAGE against the sun!

OK, it's not that dramatic.

But we are united. 

This never-ending heat starts conversations, it pulls people together in air-conditioned stores, it makes us laugh when someone stumbles into somewhere cool because we were just that person 4 minutes ago. 

And once that conversation about the life-sucking heat ensues, we start talking about other things... new stores to visit, friends we have in common, upcoming festivals.

This terrible, horrible, no-good heat brings us into community like nothing else can. We're forced together, and we connect.

Maybe we DO live on the surface of the sun. That's OK. Turns out there's life here after all.

One Thing

As part of my #dosummer2015 challenge, I've been reading a lot more. My soul is being quenched! One of the books I've recently finished is the book The Emotionally Healthy Church, by Peter Scazzero.

Honestly... I was nervous about reading it, but now that I'm done, I highly recommend it. It challenged me in very personal ways, in ways involved in the Church--if you're a leader, I think you should get your hands on it.

Peter Scazzero was a senior pastor of a large church when he realized that there was a lot of "stuff" in his own life that he needed to work out. In order to do that, he and his wife took several months off--not pastoring, not leading a ministry, not in the church. In his reflection about that time, he had some surprising thoughts:

"God met us in profound ways. I recognized that I was still too active and my first work was to seek him above all else, not to be a pastor/leader (cf. Ps. 27:4)."

I read this sentence.

Then I read it again.

Finally on the third try, I set down the book. I started thinking.

Above all else, Peter was called to be a follower of Jesus. The end. Out of that relationship would flow his job as a pastor, his leadership abilities, his administrative skills (or lack thereof). First and foremost, he was to follow Jesus.

He references Paslm 27:4.
The one thing I ask of the Lord—
    the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
    delighting in the Lord’s perfections
    and meditating in his Temple.

The Psalmist doesn't say, "One thing I seek most--to preach every Sunday and be the spiritual leader of thousands of people." The Psalmists "one thing" was to spend time with God. The end. To be with the Lord, living with Him, delighting in Him, learning about Him, breathing the same air He does.

Peter and his wife, in taking time away from what they thought their "one thing" was, realized how wrong they'd been.

When I read this, I had to put the book down. I was forced to pause.

I love Jesus with every fiber of my being. I will follow Him forever. I've seen what else is offered there, waivered on my descision, questioned my faith and His faithfulness, and know that without a doubt He is the One I choose because He chose me.

But... I've spent so much of my life waiting. Waiting to be a pastor. Waiting to let my skills and abilities work themselves out in the Church. Waiting for the accountability and responsibility that comes from a life in ministry that is different than a volunteer role in a church.

Waiting.

Feeling unwanted at times. Feeling unimportant--struggling with my own pride. Trying to do the best I could do in the positions I was granted. Flourishing and failing. All the while... waiting.

And here I am, in a brand new church start-up that I love dearly, surrounded by people who I care about, excited for what we are doing in our beautiful, vibrant city, thrilled to say finally!, and then...

"I recognized that I was still too active and my first work was to seek him above all else,
not to be a pastor/leader."

Right. Right, I knew that.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. ~ Matthew 6:33

Seek. Jesus. First.

My main requirement in life, my "one thing" is not to lead, to pastor, to preach, to set up communion, or do the budget (though I happily do those things!). My "one thing" is to seek Jesus. To know Him better today than I did yesterday because I, like the psalmist, sat in the house of the Lord. I cannot lead others unless it is an outflow of that time.

And when I spend that time with Jesus, when my "one thing" is centered where it should be, perhaps I, too, will be saying, "God met us in profound ways."

A Life Well-Lived

Sometimes my heart feels like it's going to explode.

Often, I will spend a day stuck in the rut of everyday life... wake up. Shower.
Feed the cats. Drive to work and not yell at horrible drivers.
Interpret phone calls. Run errands. Go home. Eat dinner. Clean.
Do some church work. Read bible. Go to bed. 

If I'm not careful, these days run together. A blur of a life not well-lived. Simply existing. 

And then... 

I'm given an opportunity that makes me feel sick with nerves, like a speech contest. 

I am reminded of the beauty of a soul fighting for life against cancer. 

I see the sparkle of the city I call home and love so very much. 

I am able to work on the logistics of a database or a budget and feel capable and like I'm making a contribution. 

I connect with people I know and make them friends.

I get the opportunity to hug people at Sought Church, to share what Jesus is doing, or just to smile and welcome a new person. 

These things happen and I know that God has a use for a life filled with action and love and well-lived. More than simply existing. Truly LIVING and sharing that with others. 

And when that happens, my heart feels like it's going to explode.

It's such a good thing.

Guest Blog - Ditching Insecurity

Check it out!

I got to guest blog with my friends, The Preacher Girls, again! This week's blog is about ditching insecurities. It was good for me to write!

http://www.thepreachergirls.com/blog/author/guestblogs/ministers-lets-ditch-insecurity/

Is Work Meaningless?

At church right now we're going through a series on the Meaning of Life. I seriously thought it was crazy when the idea came up... because we're based in Ecclesiastes! If you've never read Ecclesiastes, give it a try. It's a little cray cray.

I love it, though. We're going through all these experiments that Solomon, known as the Teacher, does to see where meaning in life happens.

Today, I had the privilege of talking about WORK. Solomon talks about work a lot in Chapter 2.

Basically, he's all depressed because when he dies, he DIES. His stuff goes to someone else who will probably squander it all.

But then he figures out something crazy... there's meaning in life when we recognize that work is a gift from God... because God has a PURPOSE for that work.

I wrote this message and thought it was a neat and tidy little package. And then I got a call at work on Friday (I interpret telephone calls into English and Sign Language) that messed me up for the rest of the day. That was real life. The call emptied me. The only purpose I saw at work was that I HAD to be there to pay the medical bills for my recent surgery.

Suck-fest.

On my way home, God made me re-examine what I was talking about in church. He's like, "Emily... if you can't process this today, you don't get to talk about it on Sunday." Crap.

So let me tell you about purpose, and the purpose that God has created for me, specifically, in the way in which I earn money.

1) I provide access for individuals to make telephone calls. This is amazing. That the technology is there for the integration of video and voice and that I work REALLY hard to make sure that every call sounds as natural as it can be. The rewards of this are being asked, "Are your parents Deaf?" or told, "I wish you were my interpreter EVERY time!" or "You sounded JUST like my sister."

This is good. It really is. But that is the purpose that God has for EVERY interpreter in my situation.

2) I used to work for the State. I quit my job there without being assured of another job somewhere else (only do this when you are 100% sure this is a leading from God!). Purpose? Trusting God.

I got a job as an interpreter. Purpose? Earning money. Building seniority. Understanding the job. Working somewhere with centers nationwide.

I was able to move anywhere. Purpose? I could move to Las Vegas, still earn money to pay for rent, and be available to serve God in a way in which He's designed me. Leading. Preaching. Administrationing. Creating databases and sending cards and speaking and making friends and talking about Jesus and joining Toastmasters and going to coffee shops and... Everything I'm doing here in Vegas is because of the gift that God has given me.


So even on days when I don't care for my job, or when I have rough calls or callers, or I get flipped off, or have to drop the F-bomb 27 times in one conversation, I know God still has a purpose. And I'm so very grateful for that.

Don't be a Fraidy Cat

My mom came to Vegas to visit me for 2 weeks over the holidays this year.  It was LOVELY.  We had such fun--my mom and I, that is... not my cats.  (I know... there she goes, talking about cats.  Just call me Taylor Swift.)

Cosmo and Lockwood... well, they're used to having ME around.  Just me.  When other people come over, they're really good at running away and hiding.  When my mom came to stay with us, the boys were off their game.  They hid a lot, and only came out when they wanted food, water, or belly rubs.  They eventually got used to That Lady staying with us and became more comfortable interacting with her.  She even got Cosmo head-butts on her last day.

But Lockwood... Lockwood is a beast.  He's almost 25 pounds of long, black fur.  He's huge.  And you'd expect a huge beast like this to know that he could eat most things that get in his way.  That's not his reality, though.  His M.O. is to hide.  From everything.  We'd come in the door and he'd run back to my bedroom, and scramble under the end of my bed, where the blankets draped over perfectly to form a perfect cat-cave.

One day, as he was trembling in self-induced fear, I looked into the darkness, seeing bright eyes, shining huge and golden, reflecting the bathroom light, hidden safely under the blankets.  I rolled my eyes in exasperation.  "Dumb cat.  Get OUT.  You're not SAFE under there.  You're MISSING things; you're missing LIFE!  If you came out, That Lady would give you belly rubs and catnip, your favorite things in the world!"

Fat Cat

Then I stopped...  I've certainly jumped off cliffs before in my life--heck, I live in Las Vegas; that move alone was a jump--but am I missing out on God at times because I am hiding, trembling beneath the blankets?

I know there are things I've missed out on, the human equivalent of belly rubs and catnip, because I've been willing to sit at home, despite that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me to DO X, Y, or Z.  You know what I'm talking about.  I have a feeling you've felt that feeling, too.  Where you're home or somewhere you think is safe, but your stomach starts to get tight and you feel nauseated... knowing that there's something that's a little scary out there, but you'll probably end up a better person (or at least have a lot of fun!) if you do it.

Here's my encouragement for you (in other words, my kick in the pants for myself): Next time you feel that punch in your gut that you should be doing something, I want you to put yourself in my Fat Cat's body, huddled under the bed and blankets, afraid to come out because what is outside just might be worse than the wonders that could be explored and the adventures that could be had, then make the decision to live, to choose the adventure.  Don't be a fraidy cat!

Glitter

This city is crazy, people.

I don't know who designed the Spaghetti Bowl, but they were crazy, too. It's the intersection of I-15, Route 95, and I-515, multiplexed with US 93, and exits to Martin Luther King Blvd. and all of the Downtown Las Vegas exits.

I drive 95 multiple days during the week, usually during rush hour. Sometimes I breeze on through with no problem. Often, I'll have a few weeks with no backups, things going quickly, not even too many dumb drivers out there! And then something happens, usually on I-15, and it backs up everything on 95 because of the multi-lane connector ramps. That's when I park on the freeway, thankful that this isn't an earthquake area (why do I always worry about earthquakes when I'm on bridges or raised freeways!?), and I look at the creepiest billboard with a dead black widow spider on it (don't worry, it's fake).

My favorite part of the Spaghetti Bowl, however, is the fact that it rolls right on over Downtown Las Vegas. And my favorite time to see it is right at dusk.

You see... this city lights up. I know you've seen it all, either in pictures or a visit or maybe you even live here. The neon. The twinkle. The glitz. Some people think it's gaudy, that it's too much, that it's hiding something.

I think... I think it's beautiful.

I always have. I've been to Vegas a few times before moving here and have always felt a swelling excitement looking out the plane window at the lights twinkling below. No, I'm not a drinker or a gambler, but there's always something to do here, and I loved the difference between that and the quietness of my home.

Now that I live here, I love it even more... especially downtown, which has captured my heart.

If you come to Las Vegas, be sure to say hi to me. If you live here, I hope we're already connected. Either way, I hope you give our Downtown, our DTLV, a chance. Hop on the 95 at dusk and catch a glimpse of the magic I get to see. Spend a few minutes at the entrance of Container Park waking up the Praying Mantis. Head down to Fremont East and stand beneath the slipper, reminiscent of a time gone by. Catch City Hall's nightly light show, or the glowing paintbrushes that make up the "corners" of 18b, the Arts District. Catch the fever for the beauty of this place, and then realize that that glow is in the people here, too. And be thankful that you get to be a part of the magic that is happening right now.

This place is crazy. But I love it so.

Available 1.32 Acres

Sundays with Sought Church usually involve a combination of a prayer walk around the Downtown Las Vegas area, a team meeting, discussion of what new developments we've had in the startup process, and anything else that a new church needs to discuss.  This Sunday was no different. 

We met in a parking lot near the Arts District and walked down the street, praying and discussing vacant lots, empty buildings, and potential.  I snapped this picture on one of the vacant lots.  (And yes, my apologies to those of you blanketed in feet of snow... it WAS as gorgeous as that picture implies!)  One of the things I just don't get about Southern Nevada is that when a building is no longer in use, they tear it down.  They clear the lot, and leave a gaping hole with a For Sale sign.  The rest of the country (at least where I've lived) tries to sell the property WITH the building on it, but, in general, not here. 

This is one of those properties.  It's bare. Gravel and dirt, with flecks of worn glass, crumbling walls, and bits of trash.  It's hopeless; at least that's how it feels.  What was there is long gone, and all that's left is a scar on the landscape.  A blight.  Something ugly and abandoned.

But...

But the sign on this particular lot doesn't say "For Sale."  It says "Available."  1.32 acres available for something to happen.  Ready to be purchased and developed.  It could be a park.  It could be a grocery store.  It could be a restaurant, a copy shop, a bar, a pet store, a hotel.  The possibilities are endless.  Someone is going to see that "Available" and move on it.  They're going to redeem their hard-earned cash for 1.32 worn out acres and are going to build something on it that will be their passion and their hope and their way of impacting the city of Las Vegas.

It makes me think... Aren't we, so often, like that bare land?  We are razed down, crumbled, completely destroyed.  All that's left are a few tears and the thought that maybe something will change in the future.  Maybe we've given up all hope.  But maybe we've put out our "Available" sign.  We don't know WHAT we're available for yet, but we're ready.  We're ready for hopes and dreams and for a future.

That's where God enters.  Jesus sees the sign that says, "Available, one broken human soul" and He redeems us, not with cash, but with His own life.  He sees us and says "THAT life, the one that has nothing left?  The one that feels like giving up??  THAT life is the one I love, the one I want.  The one I dare to love recklessly." 

Friends, I don't care how beat up and broken and discouraged we feel.  I don't care if we're feeling high on life.  However we're feeling, whatever we're doing, Jesus is looking for that "Available" sign in our lives.  For us to simply think, "Maybe there's more than what I see here."  It's why He came.  It's why He sent Sought Church to Downtown Las Vegas.  It's because He wants us, more than anything in the world.

You are sought by Him.  You are wanted.  Are you available?

Dreams

My home church in Washington, Faith Assembly of Lacey, is halfway through a series on dreaming--about having God-sized vision for what can be.  Since I'm not there, I'm a week behind what my friends there are hearing, but I LOVE seeing all of the Facebook posts about people who are inspired to re-open their hearts to what God could be accomplishing in their lives.  My friend, the lead pastor there, is excited to see what God is going to accomplish in their community through hundreds of people dreaming once again--and it makes me smile to know that God can communicate even to those who don't know Him because of one simple message: Dream Again!

You know what I love about living in Las Vegas?  There are a lot of things, actually, which completely surprises me.  Let me list a few--and then I'll connect them all.

DTLV from the top of the Stratosphere

I love that LV is transient.  That people come here from somewhere else.  We're all travelers here.  We're all looking for hope and purpose.  We're all looking for something that is different from where we were before. It's scary and it's new and it's an adventure that we all hold together.  It's an instant understanding of most other people in the area.

I love that Downtown LV (DTLV) is bubbling with newness.  There are artists and entrepreneurs and risk-takers and dreamers.  People who have given everything to share who they are with the people who are connected to DTLV.

I love the sun.  I had no idea.  I am a pluviophile at heart and that will NEVER change.  However...  The sun is life-giving and it affects me and the people around me every day--causing reactions that are totally different than those encased by rain.

I love the people in LV, especially those in DTLV.  I have found, when I've told them that I moved from the green Northwest to the brown desert to help start a church, that they are excited.  Believers or not, they see the good that can come from people working with people to bring light and hope to a neighborhood.  They sense the risk we're taking, they see the potential for good, and they're excited.

Isn't it amazing?  I love the dreamers.  DTLV is, if you look for it, filled with dreamers and hopers, and people who aren't satisfied with sitting back and watching others live out their dreams--they want in on the adventure, too.  That's why I'm happy.  God has asked me to join the adventure... and to bring people with me.

Sense of Smell

I remember when I lived in Minnesota and used to walk to work.  There was a parking lot in the middle of Minneapolis that I managed to cross every single day, just because I could smell the new pavement and I knew it reminded me of something--something near to my heart, but something I couldn't put a finger on.  Day after day, through the hot sun, I would trudge across the lot, inhaling deeply, trying to drown out the smell of exhaust and city and focus solely on that one olfactory memory.  Months went by.  One day, in the middle of the parking lot, something changed.  I'm not sure if it was the clanging of a bus that sounded like another form of transportation, if it was the hot spring wind blowing on me reminding me of summer days, or if my memory simply decided to disclose this delicious secret, but I knew... I was smelling the tar from the pavement baking in the sun, reminding me of days as a toddler spent around the docks on our sailboat.  I was smelling the creosote on the wood of those docks and it was reassuring, familiar... HOME.

I hadn't been on a sailboat since I was little.  Obviously not recently enough to recognize the smell.  But the memory it evoked... THAT was still real, still present.

There are many smells out there that bring me HOME like that tar smell did...  The smell of rain.  Hay and llamas.  Blackberry blossoms at the first hint of summer.  When I catch the scent of these, I physically stop and inhale... I let my body absorb the emotion associated with them.

The last few weeks, as I walk out of my new workplace, I pause.  I don't smell the damp air like I did in

Washington.  I smell something different, something new.  It makes me stop and breathe deeply because in it not only do I smell the desert, the dry, sun-baked ground, the plants flourishing even in the middle of winter, but I also smell change and hope and new life.  This is a memory I want seared in my brain.  Something exciting to come.  I call it the smell of anticipation.

I am HERE

Today I got to hear my pastor share the heart of Sought Church to a group of believers in this area.

He had 5 minutes.  5 minutes to weave a story so beautiful... of people wanting to belong, wanting to be found, and a God so loving and gracious and caring that He seeks us all...  and how this church, the church that Jesus is leading, is going to show that love to the people of Downtown Las Vegas.  I sat there listening to this story and all I could think of was... "I want in!  I want to do that!  I want to be a part of this!"  And then my heart leapt because...

I AM.

This city where people profess NO religion.  This city where businesses are starting left and right, and people are placing everything they have on the hope that this One Thing will turn out.  This city full of tech start-ups, Zappos employees, the rich, the destitute, travelers, and natives.

I AM HERE.

I don't believe it.  It's like my life in Washington was paused and this is just the intermission, but that's not true!  God, in His love and humor, has brought me to the Neon City, where I get to eat and sleep and play and worship and love people I'd never have a chance to meet if I hadn't said "YES!"

I suspect you'll be hearing a lot more about this new life this year. 
Get ready.  It's gonna be exciting.

Welcome Home

I flew in to Las Vegas on Tuesday night for a whirlwhind trip to find somewhere to live when I move down next month.

I was skeptical.
I was concerned.
I was afraid that I was going to get here and suddenly have this "I've made a TERRIBLE MISTAKE" feeling in the pit of my stomach.

You can see why I was a little nervous. 

My flight in landed around 6 pm, so it was fully dark by the time I was over Southern Nevada.  I was reading on the plane, wondering what would happen over the next two days, and generally succeeding at distracting myself.

But then I got this gut feeling that it was time to put the Nook away.  I closed it up.  Turned off the light.  And stared out into the black nothingness that is the desert at night.

There was a sound elsewhere on the plane and I glanced back.  As I turned my face back to the window, the edge of the lights in the North Las Vegas area began to creep into view.
My breath caught.
I strained to see more--specifically the Downtown area.
And I thought... "Home."

I don't know HOW this crazy neon town is becoming my home while I don't even live here, but it is.  I guess it has something to do with Jesus.