Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thursday Evening

Hi all... It's 10:30 on Thursday, the Thursday before my Friday off, so it's OK that I'm not sleeping, smile.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. It seems like we were celebrating the birth of our Savior mere days ago... and tomorrow we experience the agony of His death. The past few days I have been reading about His sacrifice and death for us... I felt filled with sorrow when I thought about the pain and torture that He endured to wash MY sins away. Someone else DIED for me so that I can live a life filled with grace and freedom. It doesn't seem fair--*I* am the one who should suffer for my sins, not Him. And yet... He CHOSE to do so. He chose to crawl onto that cross and face humiliation, torture, grief, anguish, exquisite pain... so that I can live today, a life where I daily battle with sin and distraction. A life where I hide my faith and continually step away from the calling that He has given me. And He knew I would do it. He knew what my life looked like while dying on a cross, the death of a lawless man... the one man innocent enough to carry my sins and yours into the depths of Hell and leave them there. What kind of love is that...? Only from our Creator-Savior.

I have seen where I am supposed to go from here. I've been there in my mind, experiencing it, sensing my emotions and intimacy with Someone who beckons us closer. I am trying, I'm yearning for that closeness... daily I am attempting to lay my dreams, my desires on His altar--knowing that HE is the only one capable enough of holding them close to His heart. It is difficult, my friends... more so than I've ever thought. And it's an act that can be filled with fear--when you give the closest things to your heart to someone, and open yourself to complete vulnerability... it is terrifying. But the God we serve is so gentle, so caring, so compassionate... I cannot imagine a life being unable to give Him these gifts He's given me.

So do not fear. Though I (or you) may lay down my dreams, sacrifice my life, I will not lose them. They are held tightly by the Father, my Abba - Daddy, the one who counts the hairs on my head and the tears falling from my eyes.

I adore You, Pappa... Bless You now and always.
And to my readers... Be encouraged.

2 comments:

bloggeruser said...

Rock on Emily. Thank you for a encouraging post.

In Transition said...

So good to see you are in such a good place.