Monday, August 06, 2012

His work released...

If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less, but to dream more, to dream all the time.
~Marcel Proust

"If you could do ANYTHING right now, no limits, no money issues... ANYTHING... What would it be?" she asked me.

I froze.  My brain scrambled for an answer.  ANY answer, really.  I quickly opened the dusty files in my brain and tried to make some sense of the haphazard documents clumsily tossed in.

"Ummm..."  Yeah, that's a quality answer.

"Ummm...  Oh... I'd teach.  I want to teach people about God..."  The thought never fully expressed itself--rather, I was fully incapable of expressing my thoughts.

She looked at me.  Directly at me.  No barriers, no hiding; just me, and her, and God.  Oh, and the other two people in the room.  "God wants you to dream again, Emily."

Deep inside, the tears started streaming.  Where it was dark and secret, my soul cried out, "Oh, God!  If I dream - will You really be there?  Will You truly fulfill--even exceed those dreams?!"  My face remained dry.  Calm.  Composed.  Masked. 

I left later, wondering...  I've dreamt so much and not seen those dreams fulfilled.  I've wrapped some of them so carefully and put them on shelves, waiting for the right time to be opened and explored again.  Others I've tossed to the side... allowing to get dusty with age.  As the days passed, I picked those yellowed dreams up.  Gently blew the dust off.  Some were tenderly filed.  Some were set back in the sun, hope infiltrating the words again.  New pages were written.  Small words.  Small ideas, that seemed just out of reach... yet somehow... tangible.

Today, my still heart tries so hard to slam the iron door shut on those dreams.  To protect them from being destroyed.  In an air tight container, it was to secure them, to prevent harm from coming, to suffocate them.  

Day after day, the Savior comes and reopens the door.  Brings the dreams to light again.  Tenderly kisses them and exclaims, "Yes!  I dream these, too!"

The dreams He has allowed me to dream, given me to dream, brought forth in the deep of my heart, He will see accomplished.  With His care, His love, His caress, they will come forth, shouting and screaming and quietly singing for the joy of His work released.


Mandy said...

Beautiful, Em'y. Absolutely beautiful.
And I know what it is like to be scared to dream. I am there too. But with the help of some amazing friends, I am learning to do this in a way I have never done before. Which makes it exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Emily said...

Love YOU, Mandy. I'm excited for YOUR dreams to come true, too!

Dana R. said...

Happy for you :)

Patricia Krank said...

Beautifully written Emily. Thank you for your authenticity and for allowing us a glimpse inside your heart. His dreams DO exceed yours. I have no doubt of that. Lord, bless, bless, BLESS, this child of yours abundance IN YOU!