Friday, September 10, 2004

Friday! (Why do all my titles have days of the week in them?)

Well, Jenni's been here since Tuesday night. :) hehe She's done SO MANY firsts - it's really fun to be a part of that. First time she's seen a mountain, first time she's climbed a mountain (er... part of it!), first REAL slug (Ohio ones don't count)... so many more. It's exciting! :) And it proves that my state is really the best.

Today we're just hanging out--*I* needed more sleep. Went to work yesterday and felt kind of like a zombie. Oh well.

I need to finish preparing for this sunday. I so don't have this whole bivocational thing down yet. I see my ideal of how I want my life and ministry to look and then when I look at my own life I see that I'm so far from that. Simply the preparation--I want to be done and as ready as possible for church on Friday so I don't have to worry about it on Saturday. I don't mind working a little before church on Sunday, but I want Saturday as a Sabbath--a time to play, spend time with friends, etc. But I don't seem to be able to use my weekday evenings well for preparation. ARGH. I DO things then, either working at home or going out with friends, or working out, or Bible study, or whatever... but not sermon prep. How do I do this? And then I think... I really want to move on in my life (I desperately want to move out) and I want to get married and have kids (kids are a long way off still, but it's still a part of my future). So then how do i fit a guy into my life WITH the church and work thing? I'll make it work (I promise! LOL), but it just seems like I'll be sacrificing a lot of sleep when that happens! It's so funny, and maybe this is just an example of our lives... I ask God "Why aren't I at least dating someone right now?" and then the only impression I get back is "It's all in My time." Yeah, that's annoying. But then I learn something about me or life or other people or whatever that would have taken a lot longer to learn if there was a man in my life. So then I ask the question again! and I hear the same answer. You'd think I'd learn, eh? LOL Oh well, I have no problems with questioning God. If he wasn't big enough to handle my questions, he would have laid the future out in open view for me. Since he didn't--I figure he's so big i HAVE to trust Him!!!

OK, I'm freezing. I'm going to wake Jenni up now and we'll play some games. I'm taking her to Red Robin today (a northwest favorite!) and then we're going to the ocean--her first time seeing the Pacific! :)

2 comments:

Jenni said...

Thanks, Emily for letting me come take a peek into your life! And you're doing an amazing job. Keep looking in, re-evaluating, re-examining, tweaking things...the joy is in the journey. I love you!

Kristy said...

Oh my precious friend *smile* Isn't it funny, you sound like Barbara! NO SLEEP NEED SLEEP!!! LOL *grin*
It's a good thing, what you're doing. But it is also frustrating. I know!!! *smile* But I'm starting to value you AND Jenni oh so much more ... if that's possible. I'm starting to realize how important it is for you and I to be able to share with each other the small and large struggles we are going through as we continue through the beginnings of our ministry. But Emily! WE'RE REALLY DOING IT! Okay, old news to you maybe, but I'm rediscovering it again. I'm doing it! I really am! Now wait, I was just saying I want to go back to school, but then that would just prolong my dream and the goals I have...and well, life in general. Sure it would be nice not to have all this frustration, stress, and etc. BUT we're doing it. And that in itself is AMAZING!!!!
I finally threw away my pride and found my dream again. The devil decided to distract me for a whlie, but POO on HIM!!! I found my dream again...and even though the giants are still stomping around me...I can say, once more with confidence, BRING IT! I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE!!! *smile* I love you!