Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Rules of Chocolate :)

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

2.Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before every meal. It’ll take the edge off of your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

6. If you can’t eat all of your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all of your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they’ll jump out to protect themselves.

8. If I eat equal amounts of white and dark chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

9. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

11. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

12. If not for chocolate there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

13. Put ‘eat chocolate’ at the top of your list of things to do for today. That way you’ll at least get one thing done.

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