Yep! Just got home from church and a 2-hour dinner at McDonald's. :) I LIKE having church on Saturday night! It was great!
I'm still very very much in prayer about where I'm going and what I'm doing in ministry. I feel like I knew what I was supposed to do and then... I didn't. I see one thing, and then I want another... and I don't know how any of this all goes together. There are certain things that I WANT in ministry... incredible things that God can do--but I don't think that those things are capable of happening at this moment. It's like--I had a dream the other night that was soo incredible, it's like i was right there, just watching God work. I woke up WANTING to do the dream. But there's no way that can happen right now. And I don't know how to get from HERE to THERE. I don't know what I'm doing. They should have had a class at NCU called "I don't know what I'm doing 101." It's crazy. Heck, I don't even know what I want, what God wants, what ANYone wants. The direction I'm getting seems hazy at best. I want clarity! I just want to step where God is stepping--not outside of it and definitely not ahead of Him. How in the world do I do that??? What do I do?? Why is it that I feel like I'm operating on guesses??
In other news, I was waiting to hear if I passed a test for the state--AND I DID! I can now be interviewed for a higher paying/higher responsibility position... very involved in the signing community and pretty visible, too. We'll see what happens--this is SO in God's hands.
4 comments:
Wow, the higher pay/higher responsibility thing would be VERY nice at this point. Keeping my fingers crossed for ya! As for God's will, I hope it goes exactly how it's going to. ;)
Never read it, Frank. I'll keep it in mind. The problem isn't knowing what my gifts ARE--that I know. And I know what I CAN do. It's just that... I think there's something out there ON TOP of what I know that is... different. And my specific ministry field is so small and... often unsuccessful. Anyway, thanks for the advice!
No one goes into ministry knowing what to do. :) That's the mystery of all of it. We work hard and pray harder and trust God to guide us as we go. We are HIS handiwork. Recognizing that you don't know what to do is the wisest part of following God. Just keep following Him day to day and the big picture will work itself out as you follow Him. I've been there. :)
Barbara
Thanks, Barbara. Very much.
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