September 18-24 is Unmarried and Single Americans Week!
Some stats about us single folks to kick things off (because nothing says "party down with your single selves" like statistics):
There are 100 million unmarried and single Americans, comprising 44 percent of all U.S. residents 15 and over.
64 percent of unmarried and single Americans have never been married; 22 percent are divorced; 14 percent are widowed.
49 million households in the U.S. are maintained by unmarried men or women, comprising 44 percent of households nationwide.
So... for those of us COOL enough to still be single and truly understand each other - ROCK ON! For those of you poor married folk - watch us par-tay! (No married person ever truly understands a singleton anyway.)
11 comments:
(No married person ever truly understands a singleton anyway.)
I must ask you to explain this statement...only because I'm wondering something...didn't those who are now married come from "singleton" status?
(at what point does one forget their single roots?)
hmmmm,
Britt
That's what makes it so weird, because once things change for somebody, they don't relate anymore...same thing goes for being broke, or being depressed, whatever. Once it's over, it's hard to relate. Just life.
I agree with Britt..we were all single once too :).
Jann
I'm sure some forget, but I think it would be the exception not the rule.
Plus, perhaps we forget over time and I wonder if it is because we can't relate or if it because we simply start to forget about all kinds of things due to age?
(for the record this conversation is crackin' me up - could be worth a college paper topic if I was still in need of one)
Britt
Now it's my turn. I love what Jenni said because it's so true. Once you leave the "land of ____" you forget, part of it just leaves you. I'm not a student anymore, so while I can REMINISCE about being a student, I'm not there... it's completely different. You're right, Britt - you can't relate.
Britt - you asked when you forget your single roots. This makes me smile. :) I think part of it depends on the length of singleness (i.e. when the person started seriously dating/got married), age, length of marriage... You, for example, have only been married a few months. you've been with Marty for over a year. You are probably the closest married-but-remember-much-of-what-it-feels-like-to-be-single person I know.
Jann, on the other hand... you got married (oh poop, i have to do math) when you were 23, almost 24, right? You've been married for 4 years... 5 years?? 4 years... ANYWAY, a few years. You were dating Chris since you were... 21? So you really haven't been a singleton since you were barely 20.
While you may empathize with my life, you don't understand it all. It is my belief that no one who got married in their early 20s can understand a singleton in their late 20s. And so on. Just like if I got married tomorrow - I'd not completely understand where Carina (if you're reading this, sorry to pull you in) is--because she's older than I am.
It's a fact of life. And you see all those young marrieds groups at churches and old singles groups at churches--what about the YOUNG singles... don't WE have a place in life, too? Churches SUCK at reaching my demographic.
So. Long post. You can try to understand us. We'll smile and nod and say, "You've almost got it." We'll love you to death for trying. But then we'll go back to our single friends and say... "they haven't got a clue." :)
(Love you guys. Seriously.)
I hate being out thinked...that was good you guys...I think you can relate to those who are/were single when you were in life but I agree now that if you were not single in another chapter of life you won't relate to those who are/were single in that chapter of life.
Does that make since? I have been dealing with lawyers all day so my brain is shot.
What an interesting topic of conversation.
Britt
Just to clarify because I'm not sure my post was clear (I will refer you to my lawyer comment). I think I can relate to those who are/were single during the stage of life that I was single but not necessarily to those who are/were single in other stages of life.
Maybe that makes my previous thought a little clearer.
Britt
Smile - we outthinked Brittany! :) lol
Your first post made complete sense to me. Your second... that was a little hazy. ;) hehe
But seriously - that's exactly my point. You and Jann and Sara and Jaime and Kristy and and and will never understand what it feels like to be a 27 year old, single female.
We are a class separate from all others. ;) Especially when 25-year-old single guys admit their age complaining "I'm so OLD! I'm 25!" and you respond, "Um, I'm older than you are."
"Really? Oh, ummm... really?"
I think you just laid the trump right there, woman.
Em-
I just have to say I agree with you in regards to the comment about the church having nothing for you. I have been struggling with that myself where I am at because there WAS nothing for me when I was single (aside from college/career group that started with 18 & 19 year olds), and there is nothing for my single friends now! Not to mention, to my knowledge, there is only one place for Young Marrieds to get plugged in as well and it is a small group that has been to capacity for over a year, sometimes ministering to at least 20 couples at a time. That's a 40 person small group. Can you believe it??? But it's because there's no place else for them to get fed. The mid 20 to mid-30 realm is sadly untouched by the church today . . . in my opinion. This is a HUGE soapbox for me!!!! HUGE!!!!
Hey Emily... I'm a little behind (actually I have a big behind...) but I'm just catching up.
Heyyyyyy careful what you say about us old married folks! Ha ha. Honestly... I FEEL YOUR FRUSTRATION. Been there like you have no idea. Remember I didn't get married until I was 37. I will NEVER forget what it was like to be a singleton for so long. Michael was 42. Neither will he. :) I also had (have) the same complaint about churches and singles ministry. When will we figure out how to meet the needs of singles? Families get social events at churches, singles NEED that social outlet even more and seem to be offered even less. There's a fear that singles going to church to meet friends or even (gasp) a spouse is some kind of wrong motive for going to church. Well, where do you want singles to meet each other anyway? A bar? Isn't church one of the best places?
One thing I have noticed is that once you DO get married, some singles still think you don't "get it" about their life and for some reason won't let you participate in trying to get something started for them in church. Hmmmm there's another long discussion but it's a real dilemma for pastors and others as well.
Still... I think we could do a better job. It often requires a single person with the vision for it to make it happen. AND it requires married pastors (who never saw 25 as a single person) to try to "get it" about the needs of singles.
One thing I CAN tell you that's great... when you do meet and marry Mr. Right, your relationship will be of an entirely different species BECAUSE you waited so long. You won't have the stupid meaningless fights others seem to have. (I try to relate but I can't - I just pray for them.) Who cares about the toothpaste anyway? I had a lot of years when I was in control of the toothpaste. It really doesn't matter! :)
It is hard... wish I had the answer. :)
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