Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Good evening. Its day number 2 of American Idol and I have missed both days. I've got to get cable soon. Last year I think I missed one night out of all of them and that was when we went to disneyland. I realize that very few of my readers care. Sigh... Maybe Sara or Jer will read this. They would care. Sara would at least! :)

I'm improving every day. Did work from 730 to 205 yesterday and from 845 to 345 today. Went to church last night (very good btw), but gave out a bit too much energy. John and ben... Just shush about the. Drive home. Today was rough. I left work almost in tears because I was stressed and so exhausted. I need prayer about work you guys. I don't have any confidence there since I got my new job. I just feel... Way over my head. And I need to change that self-talk I know but its tough. Especially being gone as much as I have been lately. Pray for my boss' kids too (not a believer-theyre jewish). They have whooping cough and croup and are doing pretty badly. They're 5 and... 3 I think.

Saw Hotel Rwanda tonight. I wept. It was... Yeah. Have any of you seen it? Wow. It just broke my heart. And the orphans. The poor children. When the first group showed up I started crying. Same with the next. Then the end... I am amazed what god has done in my heart. Some of you who read this have known me since Central. Heck, tammi's known me since 7th grade..... And the changes in my heart... I want to be a mommy. I want a baby (even if he's a 14 year old "baby") who doesn't have a mommy and I want to love on them. Yes, THEM. As in plural. As in "care for widows and orphanS". Thanks be to God for making me a fan of Steven, who listened to his daughter and God about adoption. Probably the only way to get it through my thick skull, smile. But if you're reading this and want to marry me (tell me! I'd love to meet you! Hehe), don't worry. Its all in God's timing. His is way better than mine anyway. :)

I should sleep now. I'm tired. I want internet-i'll get it soon. I'll be back to the pirate ship when I get it too. Matt, can you tell everyone hello for me? (Maybe I can access it through my pager??? We'll see.)

Night everyone. Here's to answered prayer.


Slicer said...

Glad you are feeling a little better.
Hope you get your internet back real soon. We miss you on the ship. I'll pass your post here on to the rest of the family.

Hotel Rwanda was definately a difficult one to watch. I didn't cry, but I was deeply moved. Hard to believe folks would do that to their own.

I'd marry you! Except for the fact that I'm already married...
You would definately be a very good catch, Emily. I take that request to the Lord on your behalf frequently.

Emily said...

Matt... Thank you. Thank you very much. Big hugs.

Jenni said...

I will pray that love for what you do and for the people you speak with every day overwhelms your fear. Love you!

Jenni said...

I missed this the first time: you missed American Idol twice?! I"m disappointed. This we can't have.