Sunday night I went to an event at my church called Small Group Link. At the Link, small groups and small group leaders are able to share about their groups, allowing people looking for a small group to find a home--somewhere they feel connected to... either for a few weeks or many years. It's an excellent idea (in my opinion) and wish more people took advantage of it. I have never needed a small group as much as I have needed mine while dealing with Serry's cancer.
While we're there, we answer 4 different questions at our tables... some silly, some pretty serious. The last question of the night really struck me--mostly because, for the first time in my life, I didn't have an immediate answer for it. I can't remember the exact wording, but basically it asked, "What area of your life do you want God to help you grow in spiritually this year?"
Normally, I'd have an answer (or five!) right at the tip of my tongue. But Sunday? Nothing. One of my small group members laughed and said, "If you make it through this cancer business surviving and keeping faith, you've grown right there!"
It disturbed me, though... No goals? Nothing I'm working on? Pushing for? Even as I started typing this, I felt discouraged... how can I not have something specific I'm growing in spiritually?? But you know what? I think Clara may have had something right in her comment. See... last January, as you know, I started reading my Bible every day. Today is day 460-something of reading. What God began to teach me and how he grew me last winter, spring, and summer, has pulled me through this past fall and winter, and now into spring. Simplicity of faith is making me stronger. I hurt daily more than I could ever have imagined. But daily I read stories of miracles, of faith, of failure. Tradition, change, love. Stories that encourage, stories that make me weep. Stories of TRUTH.
The TRUTH of God's love and faithfulness to us is so unimaginable... and so simple. Daily. In every breath, in every blink, in every laugh and tear... It is. HE IS. He is the I AM. This hasn't changed, and it never will.
I still don't have a specific answer to the question. But I'm comfortable with that. I AM is holding me tightly and securely and HE is growing me how He wants me to grow.