Saturday, February 14, 2015

Help Me!

At the end of January, I surgery on my knee. Nothing major, but it put me out of commission for a bit. My amazing mom came down to help me get back on my feet (literally), drive me around, cook and clean for me, and just be another person here so I wasn't healing at home alone.

It amazed me, however, how much GUILT I felt when I asked for help! I felt bad asking her to get me a glass of water, bring me dinner, cook me breakfast, wash the dishes. I KNEW that if I tried hard enough, I could do all of those things on my own! Except... I couldn't.

And when you can't do something you normally do, it's humbling. To have to depend on another person for some very basic things. It's harder than it seems like it will be.

I can't tell you how many times I would make a request like, "I'm sorry, but... I ran out of water... could you get me some more?... I... I'm sorry. Thank you..."

Can anyone relate?

I'm the careGIVER, not the care RECEIVER.

I think it's important, though, to be a care receiver sometimes. For me, it made me so much more grateful for my health. I'm still recovering, and I'm frustrated by how I get tired quickly, and that my knee isn't feeling PERFECT yet (even though the doctor TOLD me it would take a month or so). 

I'm grateful for the ability to walk. I'm grateful for a family that cares about me and goes out of the way to make sure I'm taken care of.  I'm grateful for a team of leaders at church who won't LET me overdo it, even when I want to--because I am thinking of what I want to see happen now, but they are thinking of what happens long term. It makes me feel loved. And even being told, "No, don't do that," makes me feel appreciated because I know that people care.

I'm not saying that everyone should go get knee surgery. But maybe everyone should be a care receiver every now and then.

And while my Christmas Tree wasn't attacking me, this is what it felt like when I asked for help (see ESPECIALLY at 1:20):

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