Thursday, September 22, 2005


I'm simply blogging because OTHER people (i.e. Amy, John, Matt) blogged recently.
There are those of you (JENNI) who haven't updated in a bit.

Hm. Now that I'm here I don't know what to blog.

Can I share something with you all? It's an interesting feeling. See.. OK... My entire life I've been very involved in groups, had a lot of friends, was pretty active with my peers. Sometimes, I was on the "inside" - like in band in high school. I was the president - excessively on the inside. But then... then there are groups where I just don't feel quite so inside. Sometimes I try and try, participating in things, or trying to start conversations or join in on ones... and I still feel like I'll never quite "fit in." This happens in cyber-land and actual-physical-land. It's that feeling that... they all know each other so much better and there's no way I can completely fit in with them, no matter how long I've known them or how hard I try. I don't really like it.

Am I the only one, or do other people feel this way sometimes, too? And what do I do about it?

Went to Bible study on Tuesday night... it was so... GOOD. GOD is so good. I felt blessed, used, and... held. Yes, held by the Savior. That's a good, good thing.


Slicer said...

I can honestly say that I have felt like I was on the outside my entire life.
Even in the music groups that sustained me throughout high school and college.
I just have never felt that I was ever really "in".

Jenni said...

Mmmm, held. That is the sensation that keeps me going most days. Even without the sensation, the knowledge that I am held.

Anonymous said...

Yes I think that many of us feel on the outside sometimes or a lot even with our close friends and family. Especially when we do not get to talk for awhile. I think that by trying to communicate more with them and pray helps.

I know many times I also feel on the outside and I have to tell myself not to let myself get depressed about it and look at the positives intead of the negatives.