Confidence

‎19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. ~Hebrews 10:19-25

I picked this verse, at least the first half, for when I was baptized in 1997.  Ever since then, it's been special to me... kind of like a secret between me and Jesus.

I just read through Hebrews.  It's a pretty amazing picture of how the Law had an imperfect ritual to allow people to attempt to draw near to God, but Jesus was the perfect solution.  Jesus' blood covered our sin so purely and perfectly that we don't need to return again and again for the bull's blood to "cover" us.  He was, completely and fully, our payment for our sin.  It doesn't make any sense - and in that... it is so very beautiful. 

This verse talks about having confidence to enter the Most Holy Place - that Jesus opened up the way to God for us.  We CAN draw near to God.  Sometimes I think that God isn't expecting this from me.  He expects me to live following Him, to seek Him in prayer (especially for other people!), to be as "holy" as I can...  but I forget the confidence He has already told me to have when I approach His throne.  Not arrogance.  Not pridefulness.  But the boldness of a daughter coming to her Father, knowing that He IS the King and can do whatever He decides.  Sometimes He more than happily says no.  But other times?  Other times there's a resounding YES. 

When I run to the throne room and beg, "Father!  Place me where I'm supposed to be in Your kingdom!" He is going to answer with a very exuberant YES.  And this YES let's me know that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, if I am wholeheartedly seeking Him, watching His hand, hearing His heartbeat... I am confidently where I am supposed to be for His kingdom... at least for that moment.

Father, help me to pray with that confidence.  Help me to hear Your heart, to know Your breathing as well as if it were my own.  Place me where I'm supposed to be today.  Guide me to where I'm supposed to be, in Your kingdom, tomorrow.  I am willing for You to use me and change me.